It's been such a long time since I have experienced intense emotional pressure that I had forgotten how terrible it feels.
I am going through a challenging phase where despite my best efforts to prepare, much is utterly out of my control. It is fascinating to observe how awful my body feels and how it physically reacts to these unusual emotional circumstances.
I struggle to fall asleep and when I do my sleep is restless.
My energy is depleted yet I feel anxious, constantly on edge.
I struggle to focus, I want to procrastinate, but when I do it feels even worse.
My skin is dry, my lips are chapped, regardless of how much water I drink.
I have no appetite, I don't enjoy one single bite and neither does my digestive system.
And the list goes on.... All this goes to show that our bodies are, amongst other fascinating things, a mirror of our emotional well-being.
Going through this phase I am so grateful that this is an exception, that it won't last and that soon I will be back to my healthy, peaceful, grounded self.
Because I still remember the time when this was how I felt almost every day and I wish someone had told me that it doesn't have to be that way.
And in case nobody ever has, this is me telling you now.