Emotional Procrastination

Most of the time, clients only dare to ask what they really want to know about in the last 15 min of their 90 min coaching session.

For example: A client told me over an hour about his ex-partner and we worked through some challenges he had experienced during this relationship. They were rooted in how he felt about his mother and the pain she had caused him in early childhood.

At the end of his session though, he asked why he couldn't stop thinking about his ex and all she did. He admitted his mind was obsessing about what she is up to and why she might be doing certain things, even though he knew the relationship was long over.

I explained that it is what I call "emotional procrastination".

The mind often distracts us with what other people do in order to avoid having to deal with our own challenges (in his case, the daunting decision whether to keep pursuing his PhD or following his heart into a more teaching-focused career instead of research).

What our mind does is try to protect us from dealing with uncomfortable emotions, yet its coping mechanisms also often result in us holding ourselves back.

So once we understand how our mind works, we can actively change whatever patterns and mechanisms it uses to distract us from what truly matters for us in order to finally move on.

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