"Do you still love me?"

Back in the day when my partner would ask "Do you still love me?" I would always answer "No."


Mind you, I was saying this to the man who, from the moment I first laid eyes on him, I knew he was the One.

So it was never a question of whether I loved him or not. The reason for my answer was because I felt the question was silly. Because of course I loved him, I told and showed him on a daily basis (and still do).


In a recent session with a client she shared that she asked her husband that very same question daily. When we worked through it, she realised that she felt compelled to request verbal confirmation of love from her husband due to an old childhood habit.


Whenever she had done something 'wrong' as a child, her mother had withdrawn from showing affection. The way she dealt with it was by asking for verbal confirmation that her mother still loved her.

This was a pattern that she subconsciously continued in her romantic relationship as well.


Once she realised this, she decided that next time she felt compelled to ask her husband whether he still loved her, she would simply tell him instead: "I love you."


It's only when our mind consciously understands the root cause of our behavioural patterns that we can effectively change it into a more positive direction.

And it's those little changes that eventually make a big difference, in our own life as well the lives of others.


Inspiration, Emotional Intelligence, purpose, making a difference, contribution, change, leadership, personal development, executive consulting, coaching, women in business, conversations for change, courage, change management, idealism, hope

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